I couldn’t publish a blog last week. It was too much, too soon. This is still hard because the blog feels normal and nothing is normal right now, but we’re working on it and this is just one more step. I also think about just how much I have documented for Steven, Sammy and Amaya because of the blog, and how they’ll get to see their lives with Nana. Every single visit is here. So that’s another motivator to keep it going because there are so many other relationships I want to continue to capture in this space.

This was a good-enough week, which is good-enough right now. The kids had their last week of camp and then we headed to NY for our pre-planned vacation week at the airbnb across from Nana and Papa’s house. Our NY trips are so important to me and not going would send the absolute wrong signal. Also, I learned so much from my mom about resiliency and getting on that plane was an important way to show Steven, Sammy and Amaya that, no matter what, we go on.

So, our week…

Amaya wasn’t feeling well when she left NY and, Sunday night, was up late with an ear ache. We kept her home from camp and Sophia took her to a dr appointment where it was confirmed that she has a double ear infection. (But no covid! Who knew we’d have a time when ear infections were a welcome diagnosis?)

I love how Steven loves his hair. Amaya and Sammy got dirt in it while they were playing and he told Sophia, “they don’t get it because they don’t have amazing, beautiful curly hair.”

By Tuesday, Amaya was ready to head back to camp for the last week of the summer. I loved this look!

Eating lunch outside, I was visited by 7 neighborhood deer. We were all so still.

For the final week of camp, the kids chose Bakeoff camp. They baked all week and then had a bake-off in teams of four. I think the boys said their cake won best texture and Amaya’s team took the prize for tallest cake. Steven was kind of disappointed that there wasn’t an overall winner. The bakeoff definitely brought out his competitive streak.

Overall, I think the camp season was a success. The kids really liked being able to pick their weekly camp themes and have even started talking about what they’ll want to do next summer. And, believe it or not, the school year will allow the kids to sleep later! We leave for the camp bus at 7:25am compared to a school bus pick-up on our block after 8am. That will be nice for all of us.

Steven and Sammy’s bakeoff team

Amaya’s bakeoff team

On Friday the kids and I boarded the plane for NY. It was hard, but we did it.

Papa has been amazing. I’m so used to Nana just being there for us and Papa is with us every step of the way, unloading our grocery delivery before we arrived, bringing over laundry detergent and just being totally awesome, as usual.

The kids and Charlie playing out front while Sara and Papa sit on the front porch across the street.

On Saturday, Sara, Charlie, SSA and I headed up to Westchester for a Goldstein get together at Spencer and Jamie’s pool. Besides Spencer & Jamie and their kids, Uncle Bob, Aunt Denise, Alex, Chadwick, Craig, Sebastien and Jamie’s mom were there. It was really great family time. We even weathered a random midswim thunder storm.

Amaya living her best life

Uncle Bob in the pool with the kids

Trying to stay dry

Back at it!

On the way home we stopped by to see Savta for a few minutes. (Sammy was asleep so I stayed in the car with him.)

Books before bed. 🙂

Today we did another Very Hard Thing and went to the beach, to the cabana. This morning Sammy even asked if we still have the cabana now that Nana died. We’ve been going here the kids entire lives. Multiple days each summer when we come to visit. They’re so comfortable there and it’s always been a really special place for me to take SSA. I cried for about half the drive to the beach, and when we arrived, and then I was okay-enough. Good enough. And the kids had a great day which was the most important thing to me.

Steven spent at least three hours of the day working on this big hole. Sometimes he was alone, for a little while he was with his siblings, and sometimes he was with other kids who were at the beach. The boy was focused.

Cousins

Auntie and Savta came. <3

Sammy, Amaya and Charlie went swimming three times throughout the day, once with Papa.

Steven and I spent about an hour and a half down at the ocean together. It was beautiful. He went in the water, searched for shells and made friends with a family who had a metal detector.

“My body told me to go over there for a big shell and look what I found.”

We were at the beach for a little over 6 hours and, on our way out, made a last minute call to go eat at an outdoor clam bar that we always went to with Nana. One more Hard Thing, and we all had a good time.

The kids and I are here through the week and will continue to figure out our new way of being here. We’ve got this.